


In dense skys we thrive

by Justgenderless



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cussing, Death Refernced, Draco Malfoy is Bad at Feelings, Draco is my comfrot character okay, Established Relationship, Harry Potter is a Good Boyfriend, Harry's heartrate is fucked up, Hurt Draco Malfoy, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, Im posting this at like midnight, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, One Shot, Rain, Selective Mute Draco, Short, i think, i wrote this for me and only me, no beta I have no friends, they live together, what do you want from me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:07:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28421445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justgenderless/pseuds/Justgenderless
Summary: Draco has a panic attack and goes out into the pouring rain. Harry follows him out because he's good boyfriend and angst ensues.Please read tags for trigger warnings!
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 1
Kudos: 79





	In dense skys we thrive

**Author's Note:**

  * For [my gay and tired ass](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=my+gay+and+tired+ass).



> I wrote this over the span of 2 nights, both at like 11:00-12:00. The first draft was in my sloppy ass handwriting in a notebook with a dying pen. So apologise for any mess ups, please alert me of any so I can fix it!
> 
> I included two headcanons of mine!  
> One being that Draco developed selective muteness during the war, cause you know, ~trauma~ And the other being that Harry got Arrhythmia after you know, dying. Cause like I think dying would fuck up your heart rate.

It's not that Draco hated being stuck inside. It was just all the empty hallways, cold rooms and general grayness reminded him all too much of the manor. The delusional voice in the back of his head told him that he'd traveled back in time or into a separate reality. A reality where Harry hadn't won. One where Voldomort still ruled and had his awful grip on Draco. A reality where Harry wasn't at his side... And in the worst thoughts dead. So yeah... It's not that he hated it. Just that it made him feel awful and panicked.

It was raining outside. Like pouring. Flood warnings anytime you turned on any device rain. Now normally this wouldn't be a problem. Though Grimmauld Place was a hauntingly familiar base, Harry and Draco had managed to liven it up. But the two of them were moving. They'd handed the building off to be a meeting place for the Order, and where moving into a small house by Godrics Hallow. And because of this all the things that would keep Draco's mind from drifting were packed away in boxes. Harry being a bit busy also did not help.

Draco spent at least half an hour pacing from room to room. He'd try finding something to distract himself, find it didn't work and try something else. Rinse and repeat. Each time it failed his mind grew more panicked. And eventually his mind just gave up and broke. Breathing became difficult, everything seemed too loud, too bright or just too much. His throat reached a point where words would be most likely impossible to produce. And his mind narrowed on to one goal, get out.

In an almost blind panic Draco rushed out into the rain, not even stopping to grab his coat. It was freezing cold out, and the rain came down in bullets. He was honestly surprised that the rain didn't break his skin, it was that cold and fast Though it was cold and a bit painful, it helped. The cold forced his mind to slow down, the general emptiness of the outdoors removed that over-stimulated feeling, and the thoughts finally slowed. 

He'd been so focused on what was around him he didn't hear Harry leave the house and walk over until he spoke,

“What are you doing out here?” Harry questioned, though there was clear amusement in his voice. Draco looked over at him, to find Harry's arms crossed, him leaning to one side with a playful smirk that made him want to crawl into the gutter and just get even gayer.

Draco shrugged, taking a step closer to his boyfriend. “I needed to get out.” He looked up at the rain, blinking a bit as the droplets attacked his face.

Harry opened an umbrella, though the way he was standing it didn't quite cover Draco. Neither minded much. Sure the rain pouring off of it was a bit bothersome but not awful. “Why?” Harry asked slowly. There was the concern Draco maybe had been looking for. Though he'd never admit it.

Draco looked back at his boyfriend with a timid smile. “Do you the truth or a lie to stop you from getting worried?” Harry was 80% sure Draco was joking. Okay maybe only 60%... Or 20%...

In truth Harry had no fucking clue if Draco was joking or not.

“I'd much prefer the truth.” Harry stepped closer, gently taking Draco's hand. Draco's hands were always super cold for like no freaking reason. Okay maybe now there was a reason(that being they were standing outside, in the rain, in the middle of winter, like a bunch of idoits), but most of the time there was no reason. Fucking hell just why-

Draco didn't respond, opting to stare at the street instead. Water was slowly creeping towards the center of the road, causing passing cars to have sheets of water spraying out. Though the gutters were doing their best, there was too much water. Could be a metaphor for something, Draco didn't want to think on it too much.

“Rain is weird.” Draco commented. He stuck out his hand, catching a few droplets on his hand. Cold, sharp, nice in some way.

“Says you,” Harry said with a chuckle. “The man standing out in the rain in winter. I doubt you can say anything is weird.” 

Draco laughed. “Are you not doing the exact thing?” He looked down at his and Harry's entwined hands, the one that had been sticking out falling back to his side.

Harry was about to relax, leave Draco to be weird in the rain. After all, he looked fine. Until Harry started to pay closer attention to the blond's face. He was hiding something. His eyes were missing the joy the rest of his face displayed, his mouth curled differently than it did other times, and overall it just looked... off. And from there Harry started to notice other things that were wrong. Draco's movements were twitchy, sharply and didn't look as planned as they normally was. He kept jumping around in conversation. And he wouldn't maintain eye contact.

That last one was probably the biggest red flag. Draco never seemed to have a problem with eye contact. Despite all his other mental illness induced habits he hadn't grabbed the eye contact one. Perhaps it came from his upbringing of needing to be confrontational, they didn't talk about it much. But anytime Draco started spiraling, eye contact went out the window. That or Draco had gotten replaced by some imposter but Harry would rather not have his mind go down that route.

With a small sigh Harry closed what was left of the gap between him and Draco. It felt safer for both of them, and got Draco out of the rain. “What's going on love?”

“It's ridiculous. I'm just being dramatic.” Draco shrugged, moving his fingers to rub against Harry's hand. It felt nice. It got rid of the feeling of drifting away. There was a muggle word for it, grounding? It fit nicely, seems muggles were good at words.

“If you're admitting to being dramatic I doubt it's not of concern.” Harry said, half teasing. This earned a laugh from Draco that sounded more real than the earlier signs of happiness.

“Being stuck inside, with everything stripped down I guess it just,” Draco felt his panic from before creeping up, much like the water was in the street. Which was not a good sign for Draco's mental state. “reminded me of things. Not good things.”

Harry softened and pulled Draco into a tight hug. He had to switch umbrella hands, but he made it work. “Come here love...” He whispered, listening to Draco's speeding heart beat. It sounded as if Draco had just finished running from something. 

Draco buried his face into Harry, trying to just shut out all the fear. Shut out everything that had happened, all the pain, crying in the middle of the night, loud and sudden sounds, bodies hitting the ground never to get up again, the last words he heard from the man who raised him. Just, everything. But the more he tried to shut it out the more it forced it's way deeper into his brain. It grew stronger with every buried memory it uprooted and threw into the air. 

Harry started to entirely run his hands through Draco's hair. “You're safe, I promise. I'm right here and I'm not going to go anywhere else ever. I swear.” He kept his voice quiet and light.

And though he should be thinking about literally anything else, Draco found himself thinking about Harry's heartbeat. It did this weird thing where it didn't quite follow a pattern Instead it skipped around and did what it want. Speeding up, skipping a beat, adding random beats here and there. It reminded Draco of Harry in some ways. Everyones heartbeat should match their personality, it was a nice concept. 

Thinking about this somehow slowed the monster taring Draco's mind to shreds just enough for him to manage words again.

“Inside, please?” He mumbled into Harry, wincing at how pathetic he sounded. Talking always got harder when he was stressed. For the longest time words had just been impossible. Thinking back, Harry was the first person words had worked for. Another nice thought to slow the mind monster.

Harry smiled and nodded, leading Draco back into the house. It was warm in there, but also really bright. And loud. When had everything gotten so loud? Why was everything reflecting the light so goddamn much? Draco shook his head as though doing so would get rid of all of that. And while it itself didn't, it caused Harry to turn off the lights, laundry machines and turn down the heater.

Draco flopped onto the couch, burying his head in the pillow. Though he may currently be a distressed mess, he still had his dramatic flair. When Harry returned he chuckled lightly and curled up besides him. Quickly the two fell into their familiar position. They didn't really have big spoon/little spoon. Instead they had a pile of limbs, kisses and a lot of the time, someone in a panic. Thinking about this Draco realized they should probably both hurry up on the current hunt for a therapist. Believe it or not wizard therapists are not a common occurrence. And when a lot of your trauma is magic based, you kinda need a magic therapist.

“Do you need anything?” Harry asked quietly, brushing Draco's hair from his face. It was getting kinda long. Not like Sirius long but longer than normal. Growing his hair out had always been a nightmare for Draco. He didn't want to see his father in himself, so anytime it'd get too long he'd panic, cut it and normally dye it. It was slowly getting better though. Major emphasis on the slowly.

Draco thought for a second then shook his head, tightening his grip on Harry. “Just you.” He mumbled, listening to Harry's strange heartbeat and trying to get his to sync up. 

Harry smiled, pressing a kiss into the side of Draco's head. “Alright love, I'll be here. I promise.” 

At those words Draco's heart melted, and the monster that had destroyed his mind crawled back to the dark depths. His mind felt safe to be in again, so Draco let himself slip in. Though all he could now think about was the ring sitting in his pillow upstairs, and the question he was certainly going to shoot out tomorrow.

I think you can guess what it is.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it  
> ReMeMbEr tO lIkE cOmMeNt AnD sUbsCrIbe 
> 
> imsotiredpleasesaveme


End file.
